You know how You See people on the outside and think that they either have it all, or Is doing pretty good for themselves and should be happy? But at the same time, in their personal lives They're having a hard time keeping themselves together. Well, Last night I got a chance to converse with my buddy on an Issue she's dealing with.
Issues of Trust, Loneliness and pure confusion... as she put it.. "Lost".. It's not good to feel that way, Almost depressing. I was my first time having a discussion like that wth her . so it was almost odd... I know everything she's going though too. The Only big Difference is that. .. Well really there isn't a difference.
She's in School and she's doing pretty well, But she doesn't have the support from members of her family, and it hurts her feelings. Many other issues as well that she would try to discuss with her boyfriend. she says that He really doesn't see the issues the same way that she does. It's not only an issue of school. its a load of things we were talking about. I just don't want to get deep in to it.
She told me some things and I told her how I felt. Because it's basically the same. When You Get up. You're just Living because you know you have to do something in order to keep yourself grounded. But you have friend, or people who call themselves your friends and You can't trust them because they all seem to have something against you. or is steady trying to Knock you when you're doing well. Yet when they know you are good at something the want to use you for your skills and things like that.
She was Crying and i could hear it. It almost made my tear up. lol .. But really though. She said she really needed someone to talk to so I was up for the convo. Although it was unexpected. thats what being a friend is for. I was saying too, That if anyone should be that way with her, Her Boyfriend should step to that plate at her time of need. they've been together for a long enough time to understand eachother. and thats what hurts her more.
When You don't have that kind of support It just makes u feel like you don't have anyone. and thats exactly how i feel as well. I told her how I felt about me being were I am and how my people are with me. and at the same time I feel just about the same way she does. I told her that I felt that we all go through things that eventually help us out in the long run. and this is probably one of those things
I mean man, This girl is a Senior. In College and nearly about to graduate. all she has is her skills in dance to keep her well grounded other than that, In home support from family just doesn't exist. All she can do is Be herself, even though she says it's hard being herself because It's like Having 2 different Lives.. Where You have to Be Something else for people to see you on the outside, when they don't really know you on the inside.
She stated it as Darkness is to light... Its like when she's out in the open, she can Be Cute and basically put on some what of a false smile to make people believe she's doing well. but in The Darkness She's basically Depressed and In Need Help. maybe not Mental or Physical Just That level of Trust and Love she should be getting from family . So as she said. In Darkness she can be herself .. But it's hard to bring that out because she cant trust anyone.
I know I just repeated myself like 100 times in this entry. but thats just how it seems to be with many people. I told her that even with me, People see me at events and think im doing well, when actually I'm Broke and lo nely, The only people I have are family and Although they are supportive I just wanna get away sometimes being that I'm basically The Blame for lots that goes on in my household .. With That Said.. You Know .. its like .. People See Me.. But They Only Know One Part of me. I'm 24 years old and I have no Social life and im Broke .. Most people dont see that because They dont Know How I Live.... thats what Jermani was saying.. Yeah.. that 's who I was talking to. Man, As a Friend I like her Alot. She's beautiful. and just knowing her is a great thing. even with her sharing those things with me. were un expected, it basically allowed me to get a glimpse of The real hear. other than The Side I saw of her in School. and Well with her telling Me some of those things about her personal life .. with that said... I wouldn't try to usse that as an advantage to get at her. because that's not the kind of guy I am. I'm just trying to Be the ear that Listens and not The kat that lets things go from ear to ear without even caring.
I Wish Her most success at what she does or what she's planning. thats my buddy I gotta help some Kind of way
I'll Blog about some other stuff Later.
Note From The Book