Before She fell Asleep

Tonight I spend a number of Hours on the phone with Ira. Although I’ve been feeling like This relationship has reached its peak and its like “whatever happens” I really Like her, and she really likes me to the extent of us being with each other long time. and despite all that I know. With her saying what she told me,  It was truthful and I understand where she’s coming from.

Basically, she told me that she feels that I need to get myself Checked simply because I haven’t been able to hold up for her in the bedroom. Although I do understand my problem. She thinks its something else. Basically I have Neuropathic Issues that I can’t control, It’s not a blood issue like she thinks.  When going at it she would wonder why I’m not there. All I can tell her is that I don’t know.  Because I honestly I don’t know when it’s going to happen or not.

She fells that I’m not arroused by her, yes I am. but that doesn’t mean that It will happen just because of that. Due to my personal health issues.  I have pain in crazy places so my body responds to that pain over anything.. 

Knowing she has a problem with that is cool because she was honest. yet that should never be the more substantial factor of holding a bond.  But If that’s what she wants out of a relationship and I can’t satisfy her,  She has all the right to leave me alone. I’m cool with that .  Yeah no doubt We have not been sexually active in months. I honestly believe that she has, but hey That’s on her. and I may be wrong for accusing, but that matters to me. because she’s supposed to be exclusive to me and I honestly  don’t feel it all the time .

I may have to go get checked  for the issue, to let her know what my body’s telling me but at the same time I already know why the issue exist. I have to get my health in order.

So Many Other Things to write about. I need to do this more often/

- Book