Friday, January 06, 2017
The Dating Game:
I'm not a fan of dating because it doesn't represent a legitimate relationship. When someone tells me that they are dating, it says to me that they are interested, but not ready to commit monogamously.
It tells me that you have other plans on other days to schedule quality time with other people.
It's not cool to be among your family with a guy while with others guys on your own time especially if you're having sex. I'm also not a fan of the friends with benefits thing. I don't mind having a girlfriend who has guy friends. But it's eerie for a woman to claim that every guy is her brother, play cousin or business partner, My experiences won't allow me to process this information any further without a negative thought.
I know what it's like to not be claimed, I felt horrible not being formally introduced as the boyfriend. It hurts deeply and makes you want to walk away. This made me feel like I was never the only one she was with. Turns out, I was right. I thought she was my girlfriend, I was wrong. She was dating many guys. It took me a while to realize that I was not her boyfriend, from there I began to reject her. My withdrawal subsequently led to her publically revealing a new guy. It occurred as if we never were together. I was upset, but I also was relieved because I was now free of an issue beyond my control.
I love the Idea of monogamous relationships, the term dating is just too loose for me..what's even worse is folks are just having sexual intercourse without emotions involved. The friend with benefits thing is dead to me. Having a monogamous sex partner that you don't claim to be in a relationship with is still dating, If the guy is in your house, spending nights, having sex, eating spaghetti and buying and trading gifts that guy your man, not just some random guy. That's way beyond casual dating.
Point blank, dating identifies folks who want to maintain single status.
A random encounter becomes talking, which leads to dating. After a few weeks or months of dating, If you're not in a relationship by then you should call it a friendship and stop having sexual relations. Nothing more than a waste of time.
I'm not a fan of dating. I am a fan of solid, long lasting relationships. They tend to lead to marriage.