It's been awhile!

 I'm rarely here because, facebook etc.!
"Knock, Knock".... If you're here! I'm here!
For me, 2022 had many blessing and many losses. 
The year was a good one but somber at times.
I've had a number of family and extended family members pasa away,
Yet on my Joh, I've progressed and moved up in the ranks.

For the first time  I have been able to feel secure financially. 
Maybe not enough to have my own Appartment in 2022. 
But Enough to feed my family, Get safetly home in a Lyft etc. or even buy Gifts for people.
 I'm just glad I am able. 


The last time I was here, I complained about being Gyp'd   
I now know that guy's full name. It's sad that I can't do much about it. but I think I've recieved my blessing already though.  


I'm just thankful for all the opportunities that have come my way! for example; I'm going to the BOWL!
To work, but still, I'm going! lol!

It's things like this, I live for!  

It's also Parade season! Mardi Gras!  I'm ready!

I'll be back sooner than Later. 

#TAKENOTE!!!

⬆️ See what I did there!........ HAHA! I'm BACK!

Gypped and angered.

While taking a brisk walk earlier this week, someone begged me for change . "My wife is pregnant. and we're trying to catch the bus." I gave the guy a hand full of whatever i pulled out of my pocket. 2 minutes later they passed me up again, the woman is smoking a Cigarettes as the guy was basically done with his Money hustle. My concern immediately turned to Anger. Part of it is because they came up to me unmasked and looking all rough.


Fast forward Yesterday: I'm taking another walk in another part of the city and an older guy yelled "Hey you got 43 Cent? I resoponded" "Sorry I don't have it" He yelled "Man F%$ YOU" ...
I just kept walking as he yelled more obscenities.


For the first time in my Adult life I desired knock somebody out.
This is not norma for me but It's what the world has become.


I will never put myself in the position to go to jail for nothing. and that's all i'm gonna say about that.

Think Bright

Seems like 2019 I've came inside this space with a bunch of messed up thoughts due to what's been occurring. Do the whole lot I should have written about, but I'm glad I did not. I have so much work to do and it's time to get it right. But also it's time to leave the the bad things alone and focus on the greater good. It's time to change the course and fix all the problems one day at a time. I need to make this happen for my life to change, and to get what I want out of it. I am nearing 35, existing. Existing in a space that is beyond my control. But these things will change. I'm not young anymore oh, I am too old to be nobody. When I mean so much to many. 

That being said, I just have to put this out here. I've always had this concept of who I want to be, but it was never clear to me and it's still not clear today. But the person I should be now, I am not. This is because I've made bad choices to remain stagnant, and now there is something that I want and I can't have it waiting for me. I don't want to jinx myself into going another 15 years hopelessly roaming the Earth. It's my time and I got to take advantage of it. Trying to be ready for the world.

I need to free myself

No Lie man, I have been out of it, I lost interest in a whole lot of thing that lovely. And it's not that I don't care oh, because I do care, I care so much that I lost myself in it. And everyday I'm waking up trying to find myself., I feel like my life have been interrupted, or it's on pause, and on hold for other people. I'm sorry folks but, I got to make my life about me.

For years I have slept away my days, only to wake up overnight to do nothing for hours and hours and hours. And that's getting tiresome. I want to take control of my life. I want to be free.

Thank God for allowing that to happen

It was because of her, I was able to not only release my thoughts but have them questioned and thrown back at me, Now these are problems I need to fix in order to make myself great.  I’ve said a lot, I said too much. but that’s just me. I can’t excuse it. But I deserved and needed and wanted the responses she gave me. Therefore I am thankful for her. I really hope that We meet again and that my mind is clear.

Listening to music, made me realize that I listen to songs that are sad reflections. I need positivity and some of those songs have it. They’re just sad. Maybe I need to change my list a bit.

She Likes me and I am the problem, I am my own problem. I allowed her to say No without saying no. but she didn’t walk away. I think it’s time I limit communication for the spirit I’ve been dealing with to Wind down.

I Pray for better days, greater success and to LIVE AGAIN!
I want my life back and She reminded me that I have to take it.
Every choice I made was mine and I must own it and change it.
Dang I love her for challenging me in that way..
I value my friendships and I think she’d rather have me as a friend until I am able to “make it" … I respect that.  I told her I always wanted to be the man, but everything I’ve become, I tried to avoid and it all hit me at once.. Now I must shut up and heal, as I read in a recent blog..

To that girl.. I needed you and I let you know this, Thank you for you words.
Thank God for allowing this meet to happen. It’s just time I act and say nothing more.