Clown

Once again im blank minded. i guess we both are wrong. but the thing is that we didnt talk. man. i dont think yall know how it feels having to hear all kinds of band things from people you dont know. it made me worried. it made me sick. I shouldnt've believed it. but I Did.
I Didnt think it was gonna end with her mad at me. The messed up part is that Im not Mad. Im just one confused man right now. of all the good that has happened in my life. Bethany was the biggest thing. you could ask anybody. I talk about her too much. man its messed up. dawg, the messed up part about this is that We didnt break ourselves up. it was the people who started all these rumors that I was stupid for believing. I let all that go because i love that girl, but it still hurted so i had to say something. I still dont know why we cant talk. if we dont talk to each other it wont solve anything & thats why i asked you about that the other day. All you did was deny it and call it a day, then i never talked to u again. so what was i supposed to do other than believe that you were out and about. I never looked at you as That Type & you know it. Why would I do that? Last night I was happy just to see your name online. but you shut me down because of my thoughts. I guess that Thinkin about you Is wrong, Right? .. Nahh It cant be. Man.. One day you're going to realize that we should've talked instead of ending it this way. Thats all i was trying to get in the first place. I feel as though i wasted a whole lot of fone time calling you from the time I wake up till the time i fall asleep. No Answer. now i see your answer and i guess this is the end. i guess I am the blame. but yet i cant be. Bethany, you know how i feel about u. It aint gonna never go away. I just dont plan on going crazy & i had to get that out. Its why i sent you those messages so late. It why i put that stuff on here. its why i seven tried calling you last night. Man.. Its just crazy.

With me, its like this. Recently I've been Trying hard better myself & do things on my own. usually when im doing anything I like to let bethany know what up. I just havent had the chance to do that since the beginning of december. other than that I blog about everything that goes on. I cant help that. This is my blog This is my mind & I say what i feel I need to get out of my mind. I guess some things are better left unsaid. If this situation was reverse I'd probably be the same B. so I'm just gonna let you have your time.



Note From The Book