Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Seems Like there is always some type of Interference when It comes to Finding one.

Okay, So it’s like this, The Pressure is on once again. around the time I first started this blog their was a situation where I  had gotten into a relationship with a girl who came at me while i was in pursuit of another.  I chose the girl who came at me and it gave me some problems, many I’ve learned from. now I’m back in a situation where I desire be in a relationship with someone, and another come along and changes the course just a little.

Basically, I’ve been talking to these girls  often, both have Kids, Both are 1 year younger than me. One of them I’d like to be in a relationship with. The Other  I really don’t want a relationship with But it’s bound to happen, and if things go as they may I might get hooked and… The only about that, I don’t want to get Hooked. because I don’t really want to be in a real relationship with her. She seems to be too much for me.

None of them are the girl I wrote the “what’s up with you” Entry about… I like her a lot and that's mainly because I’ve gotten to know her over the years and have always had a crush.  eventually it took me time to allow her to know that.  These other girls  are ones I haven’t met in person and one in particular is Knew to me .. well, as for the other I’ve know  her for a while and She has a Wild side. And That’s why I have no desire for being with her.  But If things go how I think they go. We may end up in one.

The Deal Is, Like Thursday we talked for a while about some Issues she was having in her home, as well as with a guy who she had Recently gotten rid of. Eventually that let,  Friday I woke up and she she sent a text asked what was I doing.. then she sent me a picture of something I didn’t expect to see.  Eventually that’s changed the way our conversations are now. we talked  throughout my Texas Trip. but generally I had no desire for more pictures because  came to the conclusion that she wanted me. so I Asked during our text sessions.. and well i took her up on that offer. My thing is, She’s Cute, but knowing her background makes her less appealing to me. I’m a Virgin and I’m a Proud one. She knows this because while telling me about her bad experiences I hared my one and only experience.  Since then I have been thinking about that situation and what may occur when we meet.

She throwing herself at me and yeah it’s like Yeah I’m gonna do it… but I don’t want to be the One night thing, and I know it will be,  what sucks about that is that due to what She’s told me about not being able to handle her..LOL..  I don’t want to get hooked.  The Pressure Is on, I’m trying to stay cool and maintain. I don’t really want to turn down the offer. and if it turns out to be more than what it needs to be. She’d seriously have to change some things about herself for me. I mean, she ain’t ugly, and not saying she’s dirty but she needs a cleaning.. a spiritual one so to speak.. lol just to enlighten her on some things.

With the other girl… The one i want to make my woman. She’s probably the one I need to get with. she seems like a reasonable choice of woman. At my age It’s rare for a brother like me to find a girl who doesn’t have kids, so I’ll take that challenge if need be. My thing is that there needs to be a level of intelligence so that we are on an equal playing field. In recent times I’ve been connecting to women closer to my age. I think its a great thing.  At the same time My Preferences are Reasonable, I just don’t want to get Caught up with anyone I don’t want to be with. but If it happens and I get hooked. that may be the case.. Like i said, it’s not the physical appearance that turns me off, it’s the factual Information about her Actions that make me Un Interested.

As i said in the Beginning though every time I’m in the Pursuit of Finding a girl, Someone else comes along and makes their way in to my life. I just want one that has a good head on her shoulders and Is about living Life rather than Being Extremely Sexually Active. 

I’m not the kind of dude that all into having sex. I want to be in a relationship for the love of the person and their personality not their sex. As for now, it’s totally unknown if I'm good or bad in the sexual arena, but Generally that doesn’t matter to me. Maybe because I still have traits of a virgin. but The experience I do have has allowed me to open up just a little, as well as allowed me to see how some girls can be. as well as grasp the initial concept.  it’s like an art yet it’s Life..

It’s all about challenges.

Note From The Book

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