Monday, January 04, 2010

I wrote In My Blog But is it wrong?, I don't think so... because sometimes I feel like I can tell anyone anything. and writing it here is like Telling nobody, yet publically. because to be honest I want those who i write about to know.

Sometimes even when talking to people I love, there are just things that I can’t talk to them about. Its not like I’m holding back. but Honestly I don’t like to make people angry with me. Unfortunately I have upset folks since the time I've written here.

You know, Its like. I already know, The situation with talking about people or rather a situation involving people. Anytime you mention a name in anything that can feed out. It can be searched and found.
In this case, Qui’s read about the Situation involving  the Laptop, and the other with both her and Kandi, and the truth is, I wrote how i felt about the situation as it was going on. When I got Hanged up on or I'm told “I dont want to hear it” .. so when its like that I write.. who else can i talk to.. Nobody. I don’t talk about friends with friends about every situation. I usually and honestly have no clue what's going on…
but when I’m accused of lying about things i don't know about I NEED to write about it..

Now .. With that said..
If I wrote about it then, It doesn’t Necessarily Mean that’s how i feel now. it means that I was expressing my feeling at the moment. something I couldn’t say to those who are shunning me away. 

Going back to that situation. Honestly, I haven't talked to Kandi  since September. She steadily asked about the situation and I had little to say. so I let her talk at the time..  all i can say was “yeah, I agree, Yeah I agree, No.. But” or I'd speak in defense of Qui..  at the end, kandi would say her part and hang up… I’d get on the phone with Qui and she’s like “What are u telling Kandi” .. and I’m not saying Anything.. just listening..  But she doesn't want to believe me. she believed Corey. yet Corey was on the phone with kandi nearly every time i got on the phone with her.. It’s Like “What Am I supposed to say when I’m just listening”??? lol

I tried to be a mediator even though I don’t want to be involved I honestly felt like crap at the time.. because One person trying to tell me I'm lying while the other’s asking for info.. I'm like I Really Don’t Know….. LOL
Now she’s reading that. and seeing how I felt at the time and Is telling me that I should have talked to her about it. How could i talk to you when you’re mad?

It’s the prime reason I’m not saying anything now to her. The situation is old. Secondly as she said.. I don't have to Explain because she read it … It’s not like its all bad.. I just Hate to be involved in things I really have nothing to do with.. and that’s how i felt at the Time..

It’s not like I mentioned what was Done during those visits.. that would be 2 confusing stories one saying what she did, the other making assumptions and getting mad because she felt like her “Sister” tried to get with some Ex of hers. who just happened to be living in the same room dorm with her illegally.. Both feel like They broke friendship because they wanted to take up for the dude. who was Totally wrong for doing what he did.. Qui Tried to be a friend and clear it up. and Kandace took it totally wrong.. So I'm Stuck in the middle  eventually i stopped talking to Kandace because 1 she was in school, 2. I didn't feel like hearing about it…  With that.. Qui said she didnt want to hear anything about it .. a months later she mentions it in a post, then Corey says something.. and she just throws me under a bus as far as believing that  I was talking To Corey.. I honestly don’t talk to that dude unless he’s on the phone 3 or 4 way with us .. Corey thrown in to it by Kandace She talked to him. and was telling me “don't tell qui Corey knows”.. yet I'm sitting here like Okay …So I was Thru with the whole thing …. At the end of the day  it’s Old, It’s Done With.. and shouldn't matter now.

Qui said she was leaving it alone .. But since she brought it up. it’ll be a totally new story… especially when she reads this..

Now Back To The Beginning..

Am I wrong for writing this in my blog.. No Because In my blog.. Do I care that my readers read, Not really because I don’t have many every day readers.  I mean, If you really read my blog, its not like a constant story where you’d know everything about me.  It’s only like that every now and then.  The Main reason i Write here is to get stuff out of my head that I can’t talk to folks about. 

Prime Example, When I broke up with my Ex, She Knew I was going to put how i felt in my blog. she read it and we even talked about it on the phone. and I harshly despised of that girl because of what we both new went on.  But its over and its old it has little relevance now.   With that  said, No Mater how Current or far off a situation is. once it is said and done. its over. I really can’t say much for how I felt at the time.

I’m always going to speak my mind here because I can clear my head without talking to anyone. that's just what I do. and as real a i can be. I ain’t really trying to hurt anybody.. and Yeah I do feel bad now. but what’s said was then, and I can’t take it back, nor am I deleting it off my blog..  I feel that it shouldn’t matter now.. Simply because it’s old…

and I’m really trying to forget about it.. but hey.. she looked for it and got what she was looking for.. even tho she wasn’t coming for that..  

What do I to Do now?  .. I really don’t know. 

The Book
Post a Comment