I was waking up and I over heard my brother talking to my mom about me and everything that I “don’t do”. making comparisons to other people including my lil brother. I don’t get it at all. Not once have I talked to my mom about my brother having a car… What do I need a car for, I can’t drive.
I live in a house hold where THEY don’t even allow me to speak for myself, they all act like they have to speak for me. but when things go wrong, I get questioned. for example. The door to the room nobody goes in was open… She came in here fussing at me asking me who was in here.. I’m like I DON’T KNOW… but she insist on fussing about the room being messed up and what I don’t do.
Things like that are the reason that when I find a job, I won’t tell them anything. I haven’t asked them for anything since the time I had to get a tooth pulled. before then, hardly ever. I don’t get why they put words in my mouth saying that always look at what other folks have.. no I don’t. I don’t complain, I’m working on me. All I did was watch the baby. every time I say that. its “you don’t have to watch that baby”.. yeah that was true but I can’t avoid not watching him when he came at 5am. .. so all this talk about me not working when obviously I couldn’t shouldn’t matter. Now I’m free to do what I need to do. All I have to do is change my sleeping habits, wake up and Leave out at 7am. I’ll have folks tripping hard.
When I start leaving, Folks are going to wonder where I am. cause I won’t be answering the phone. Why? Because I’m always “Home” to them.. it’s all going to fall in place when I start working. Every day I wake up It’s like I have to prove everybody wrong. and when I do they’ll hate it. but I won’t care. Like they say, a job is a job.. when I start working. I’ll be working for ME. not for Them. what ever I may prosper from that. I won’t be sharing.
Since the time I got back to N.O. everything has been put in my way to prevent me from doing what I want to do. so when I do what I want. it will be no to who ever asks me to do something for them. Call It Selfish, I just got to say NO to everything.