Thursday, September 05, 2019

Looks like that dream is over.

I guess talking, and letting off too much information got me hit with the code words that put me in a zone  that I don't want to be in. .

In part, I did that to myself trying to speak my own truth. Living in my truth is like living in a box. Yesterday I told her that are the song called "man in the box" by Alice in Chains. That song reminds me of myself and a place where I really don't want to be..  I told her that, I don't want to believe that there is a box. But I know that this song basically Defines me.

,, there was a point where she felt like I was not telling the truth and that I was missing things, she said that it's like I am giving her pieces of information, and they don't quite fit together. That in itself made me think of another song, "pieces of a man" by Gil Scott-Heron.

And then there are also these lyrics

That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight Losing My Religion trying to keep up with you, but I don't know if I can do it. Oh no, I've said too much, I haven't said enough.

Loaing my Religion by R.E.M

For some reason I connect everything to music, she knows this about me, she knows a lot about me now, and I see that now she does not have any words, she's just letting me talk. I hope we continue to talk, I lost a potential love, and I gained another friend. That saddens me but I am forever grateful. Someday, someday, someday.

If anything, from what I have learned about her which is not much, LOL this is the girl I love to be with but I know that it's not going to happen anytime soon. Why, because I need to get it together.

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