Man, Sometimes I feel like a total failure. Other times I don't. Many ask me what do I do. I tell them Nothing because it's true. and its because I really ain't that smart. sometime's I sit here just thinking about why I am here. Why am I here? .. Because I'm holding myself back. I think I'm gonna wait till my sister is off and Im gonna go look for a JOB or something. I'm just tired of being here Moneyless.
Actually, what I want to do is this, I want to Contribute to Marchingsport Financially, Really man because I believe that with the help of this site. New Orleans HS bands can get on the level they once were on prior to katrina. .. Not only that . But .. College bands as well... I mean Hey, I'm Marchingsport Official Staff. and I feel that It would be the reasonable thing to do. because gerard pays for this site on his own. and I spend most of my time there. I wouldn't donating a few of my bucks to marchingsport if needed ya know.
other than that. .. Band is one thing I'm gonna have to live without seeing too. It's just too much time i'm putting toward reliving my past. it's time to go futuristic on everybody ..lol
umm.. iono man I just feel lost right now. I feel that Im doing too much of one thing.. thats not gonna better my life. .. I diserve better than what im doing. .. in a way.. i really feel uncomfortable going places and not knowing anything about anything.
I need Schooling. I need Help.. Yet I'm not Begging.. Just Procrastinating and thats My problem. it's 11:09 I need to be asleep. I need not to be waiting on people too. everything i do requires someones approval and I don't need to be that way, really.
My Mom's off and i can get braided up again. but I know exactly what I want to do. Tomorrow I think im gonna go get a lining and just go out and find something to do with myself.. even tho i aint ready to do anything.. I just know I'll feel better if i do go out.
... ahhhh.. Its just crazy .. I hope somebody could make sense of all this ..Im out ..
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