I’m writing this In light of clearing my head or personal matters. I’m doing this out of respect for myself, the folks who read this may call me all kinds of names for admitting it, It was something that over the years had become of an addiction that I’ve never admitted to till now. No I’m not A drug addict, never have been, never will be.
Owning up to this mistakes & eliminating it from my life is a step toward moving in the right direction. I’ve Prayed against it many times in the past, and Most recently I’ve taken the one big step by Shutting by shutting down the email account which Housed the Issue.
I Don’t mean to sound like Kirk Franklin when I say this but, What I’ve eliminated from my life is an archive of pornography. All of it was stored on in a note file of an email that wasn’t even originally mine.
Long ago, back in before i started blogging, and before i had a girlfriend. I was busted having these links from yahoo groups in my personal email but after being busted. I began to reroute those links to an email address which i had stolen from someone else, using It as a bookmark to cover it up my own actions. I would search the net up and down for nastiest junk I could think of, saving them to see or watch over and over again. I had eventually saved so many links that they were getting repetitive.
On a number of occasions I had gotten rid of links, but I'd keep a few and go back. At some point I stopped using the account completely I had a Girlfriend and was talking to more females. but eventually I broke up with her and I began to access the account again. sometime after that I think it became an Addiction. It was so bad I began organizing the links by name of the “Stars” . Although at times I had prayed against It. By Going back to it I was putting myself in a deeper hole by holding on to the Gateway which housed the porn links.
With that said. As of today I’ve shutdown the account. and will be praying for myself to no longer desire the need to search for or house links of porn. whether it be on my pc or saved in an account. I pray against the demon of temptation as well to never Bring me to that place of negativity. For god knows my flesh, God knows my Mind. Yet he also knows my Spirit. and I pray for Forgiveness in The Name of Jesus to be completely delivered from That Place of Evil.
Sometime before the year ended, I prayed hoping to do something better in my life in 2012. and to rid my life of the things which hold me back. While in the tub a few hours ago the thought came to mind to just eliminate The account all together. even after recently saving links there. It just hit me. and I Logged right in to the account and Shut it down for good.
As of Now, I Pray that God Asking for Forgiveness as he cleanses my soul, and free my mind of the thoughts. I’ve Done this out of respect of myself and the Faith that I claim to.
I think this all goes back to this morning where I was writing on a Thread in regard to Condoms being given out in church I’ll Expound on that in the next Entry. But I think that my own reply was part of my reason for eliminating the problem.In order to resolve a problem, you have to make changes. I’m currently taking the steps to better my life.
To anyone who is reading this Entry, Evaluate yourselves before criticizing me on the mistakes that I have admired to. I’m making strides in the process of a deliverance. What are You doing? Is there wrong in your life? you don’t have to tell me, nor address it publically in a blog like myself. All you have to do is Go to God with your mistakes. On my part. Blogging is how i clear my head. so no matter how You Feel about me. Know first that I’m FREE. I am FREE! and I shall REMAIN FREE IN THE EYES OF GOD AS HE DELIVERS ME FROM THE ISSUES THAT HAVE VEXED MY SPIRTS!