Wednesday, June 04, 2014

Rape & The Dress Code

After talking to some friends about a few subjects, as well as seeing some articles myself. I have to mention how I feel about This So Called Rape Culture. Where do I begin, I don't know. Here are my thoughts.

The Nature & Culture of a Rapist.
The Term "Rape Culture" Is one i Hate to hear, but apparently it has been used to define the nature of how the rapist operates in society today.  Here's a Wikipedia Link to that.

We all know what a rapist does. We have an Idea of how they operate based on case studies from past events. But we can not identify a rapist by looking at them. We can't predict the intentions of any person may someday decide to rape somebody.  We can only assume that it's possible for anyone in our presence to be a rapist. and this is why we must be watchful of behaviors of whom ever is around us. Therefore It's very hard to prevent the action of a person that we don't know the intentions of.

Sexual Abuse & Harassment

For the most part we can look at objectifying a person is a mental thing and that's where it may all begin. When sex itself isn't looked at as an act of love it becomes only an act of pleasure and sometimes by force.  When a person feels the need to fulfill their urge to have sex. they might  resort  to rape, or may begin harassing women or Children who may not WANT the nor expect attention. That's an easy rape charge these days.

It's all a Mental thing. and sometimes has to do with how a person looks in their clothes that may start the abuse. or how a persons Body is shaped. Or purely having no regard for a persons Well being to try to harm them in any way. Rapist prey on victims whether it be a random victim or someone they decided to stalk. Why do they do it. Maybe to Fulfill their desires.

We don't know Who's gonna do it, we never know who the victim is gonna be. But we all have to Brace ourselves for the Madness that occurs constantly to prevent ourselves from being a victim. of ANYTHING that could possibly harm us.

How to prevent Yourself from being a victim. 
Whether male, female this applies to anyone. because ANYONE can be a possible victim. Much of what I say here will be general and situations. as well as based on laws as well as other things that may be common sense to me. but may not make sense to kids first hand, that's why we have to teach them to Prepare for Life's situations.   Well, here goes the list.

  • Be aware of your surroundings.
We Live in a society of crazy people you don't know their motives we cant predict their actions but we must Repair & react based off of general knowledge that the evil exist...  If someone starts shooting .. You can get shot weather you're stand still, or while running to duck for cover. but which one is safer to do? . If a dog that you're unfamiliar with is in your path. you change paths to prevent the dog from possibly attacking you.

  • Never walk alone In unfamiliar places
  • Try another route
  • adult supervision
In school, we were taught to always walk in groups to our homes because that can prevent somebody from approaching us with danger.

We as a people do everything in patterns. Some of us find shortcuts to go home, most of all, we go the route we know.  But if we feel that we are being watched, followed  we tend to brace ourselves and Try to get away from what ever is following us the best way we could. Right? If something you don't like is in you have the option to walk the path or go another way. You gotta change the path.

If It's a child or group of children It's always best that adults be on hand to assure that they get from point A to B. Especially if there aren't anyone else in the presence of the children.

  • Dress appropriately for what ever Occasion may be
  • If the school or work place has a dress code, follow it.
That's common sense. These are things that could prevent you from being raped or even Harassed by Peers or the Police. & or Targeted by Criminal. in any environment, you are in, you would want to blend in and  bring Unnecessary & Possibly unwanted attention to yourself. 

In a Work Place,  you wear attire that is appropriate for the job. In School you wear what's appropriate to school. If going to a store or any other place. you wear the proper attire and you will not be  harassed by anyone. It's all part of Following directions.

No doubt you have a right to be liberated and be different and all that other greatness, but to abide by the rules could cause a possible crime to be prevented.

I could get pick-pocketed if my wallet was in my back pocket and visible in anyway. So. I learned to walk with my wallet in my front pocket

If we were at a theme park, the rules ask you to store your valuables in a Locker before riding... It's probably for a good reason.  The Ride goes upside down,  everything in your pockets & Purse fall to the ground. your money is gone, your phone is broken, your hat is Lost. and now you're upset and want to sue the park because you failed to follow basic directions.

Once at a fair a girl wearing a short Jersey dress was told by security that she couldn't aboard rides anymore because everyone was noticed  her underwear.  She was upset as if security was wrong. But she didn't use common sense about her attire for the evening.

The Point is You don't want to draw unnecessary attention to yourself in an area where Most people are following directions and basic laws. Why? because criminals do not.
  • Let A figure of authority know what's going on if any kind of harassment is taking place
  • Defend yourself..
  • Most of all... PROTECT YOURSELF!
In School, It's encouraged that a child inform an adult to a situation that may be bothering you. or if someone is harming you to tell an adult. That's away of Defending yourself.
Verbally Making people aware that something is going on. screaming for help, running. or what ever makes it obvious that trouble is in your way.. If they get physical, Get physical to defend your post.
I Do not Promote the usage of weapons of any kind, but if you have to Beat someone, shoot someone, taze someone or stab someone for Violating you Physically or sexually, DO IT  

I had more bullets to post but I can't think of them now.But to make something clear

It's Not all About The Attire or Appearance  |
it's more regarding A person with no remorse for harming another person
A Man. woman, or child could possibly be raped or sexually harassed by a predictor or by anyone who  has intentions to do so.  We can't just predict it. But we have to make aware that We as a people are against It as a whole.

The Recent Situations

There was an article about a school saying that girls were sent home from school for having visible bra straps which distracted male teachers & students. ... 

A Woman Commented
 Maybe they need to remove the boys and teachers that are "uncomfortable" instead of going after the girls. 
Bra's are Underwear they shouldn't be completely Visible to anyone. that's common sense. The feminists  seem to be demanding a form of segregation from the males,  that's crazy...  

The male teacher who reported this did the right thing, if he didn't he would have likely been charged for LOOKING at a girl who has visible underwear on.  That's the way the laws work these days..

There were Many other comments but I want to focus on another situation.

I read and article regarding a girl who was suspended from school for violating the dress code. Her shorts were too high.  When she came back to school. she fought back by Bringing a sign that states.
 "Don't humiliate her because she's wearing shorts, It's hot outside. Instead of shaming girls for their bodies, teach boys that girls are not sexual objects"

The Article (link here) 

I believe many folks I've seen commented on the article without reading the article. Basically the article goes on to say that the schools rules  are totally against females and that Females shouldn't be Judged for what they wear. and that's true. but  the problem is. This girl broke rules that were in place for years. If the school were to be lenient on the dress code policy.

Also, The picture of this girl shows her wearing shorts and s SWEATER.. I don't get that. 

The Commentary from Others.
People are speaking out against the school as if the school targeted this girl. They're talking about rape culture and everything their is. and this is why i created this topic to begin with.

I have seen the dumbest of comments; "Teach rapist not To pape" and so on.
The Problem is. WE CANT TEACH SOMEONE TO NOT DO WHAT THEY MAY HAVE NEVER EVEN DONE. we can only teach them to respect themselves and their surroundings. It's basic logic. But we don't know who will strike and this is why we must prepare ourselves for any given situation.

People are saying
  • Schools shouldn't Tell people how to Dress  (Comment from facebook below)
School is LEARNING. And these kind of rules are teaching them the exact wrong message. That boys are not responsible for the way they view and treat their female classmates, that instead the girls' clothing is responsible and that if the girls want to be respected, they must cover themselves. That's a terrible and damaging message to send to both genders.  
WRONG; First off, School is there to prepare a child for a life ahead of them. If they don't abide by school rules. they will have to learn someday or they won't be prepared for anything in life.

School rules apply to EVERYONE. and everyone must cover themselves or both girls and boys would be going to school Naked if they felt like it. Based on the the comment above they should be able to learn while not being distracted by someones attire or Lack there of.

When I was in middle school. If you violated the uniform policy. You got sent home. A boy wearing Ear rings were told to remove them. If you were wearing the wrongs colored Shirts beneath your School T-shirt. You were sent home or asked to remove it. If your shoes were  the wrong color you were sent home. A girl could not wear a skirt in gym glass or she couldn't participate. No expensive brand name clothing or accessories.  A male could not remove his shirt at any given time. Having an the top hair do, odd hair color. Your shorts had to be a certain length. boys could not wear girls attire, excessive jewelry Etc.  

These were basic rules. you didn't follow them. you were kicked out.  Why? Because these kind of things Brought more attention to yourself than the other students.  Why? it could prevent fights or gear getting stolen or getting verbally abused.

I remember a friend of mine was suspended for telling a girl that she was "Fine" ...The girl was dressed appropriately  There were no problems, All the girl had to do was say "thanks" or even ignore him. but she saw this as sexual harassment. my friend was escorted to the office and detained.  He did not touch, nor verbally abuse her. He gave her a compliment which she didn't like. & he was kicked out of class.  It would have been wrong had he touched her in any kind of way though, but he didn't.

The Issue here is how we teach our kids to view what IS and isn't Rape/harassment/crime whatever. 

I have WAY more to say about this.. But I think this is enough for now.

At the end of the day, be respectful of yourself and dress how you dress. Just know your surroundings and do what it is to protect yourself to prevent any danger. Otherwise Follow basic rules, because criminals don't.

The Book

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