Monday, April 25, 2016

Don't really know how to feel about that.

There's moments when you're getting messages, talking to your friends, being friendly discussing some intimate things, personal things, real life issues, social issues, relationship issues and friendship issues. To have those people in your life is very important. but where I stand just is a pain to me. and it makes me want to get myself together, find someone  and try to be a great guy for a great woman someday.

I recently saw and talked to my ex, she gave me us updates as O rambled on about some nonsense....
She me her daughter asked about me which is cool. Her grandma's birthday was a few days ago., I had made her a copy of "The Imitation of Life" for that reason.  I was telling her about a recent convo with my best friend. which I've posted about basically.
regarding how I value my friendships. I talked to her about how myself and another friend discussed how relationships typically end friendships... Which let me to telling her that I personally don't like to have enemies and I'd rather get along with people, because my circle is small.
As for my Ex, She's married, There are boundaries that i can not cross with her, but of course she understands that.  I'm respectful and  not irresponsible. .

Beyond that,  Just thinking about Love, talking about love with other friends and their experiences as well as knowing their feelings about me. It's amazing, shocking nearly, but it's Tragic and beautiful in its own right. I listen, I love, yet I'm also lonely.  makes me wish I could be that guy, but i'm not because I'm not wanted. I deal with that out of love. yet it hurts bit.  I need to do better  so that I can have love.  because my love is limited to friends. That's not fair to me.  That's just how I feel.

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